I started making notes while I edited my ABNA entry. We all have those moments when we reread our work, horrified to discover a glaring error that must be corrected. Here are some of my reactions as I’m reading my notes and fixing things.
Enjoy!
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Hmm. “Royal blood” or “royal blood”? Which looks better? I capitalize King and Queen, Royal Seal, and so on. But capitalizing Royalty or any appearance of “royal” paired with something less official makes it seem wrong somehow.
**Chose “royal blood” and only capitalized it for official things with names**
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Second page was easier to fix than the first page.
Oh, wait. Forgot to look over all my notes.
I’m not the only one who does that, right?
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First chapter finished! Time for chocolate!
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[first try]
Monique came at once, her silk nightgown seeming to float behind her in the cool night air. Her straight blonde hair was tousled. She had little concern for her appearance at the moment. With the messenger and her maid holding torches to light her way, Monique’s only concern was for Jasmine.
Monique made what had become an obligatory stop down the hallway. The same messenger that sent for her waited outside the Queen’s bedroom.
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Monique came at once, her silk nightgown seeming to float behind her in the cool night air. Her straight blonde hair was tousled. She had little concern for her appearance at the moment. With the messenger and her maid holding torches to light her way, Monique’s only concern was for Jasmine.
Monique made what had become an obligatory stop down the hallway. The same messenger that sent for her waited outside the Queen’s bedroom.
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Oh, look. First the messenger is leading Monique down the hall. Then
the same person is waiting outside the Queen’s chambers. I’ve created a
clone!
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[second try]
Monique came at once, her silk nightgown seeming to float behind her in the cool night air. Her straight blonde hair was tousled. She had little concern for her appearance at the moment. With the messenger and her maid holding torches to light her way, Monique’s only concern was for Jasmine.
Monique made what had become an obligatory stop down the hallway, just beyond the steps, twelve paces beyond the doors that led to Jasmine’s chambers. A servant waited outside the Queen’s bedroom.
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[second try]
Monique came at once, her silk nightgown seeming to float behind her in the cool night air. Her straight blonde hair was tousled. She had little concern for her appearance at the moment. With the messenger and her maid holding torches to light her way, Monique’s only concern was for Jasmine.
Monique made what had become an obligatory stop down the hallway, just beyond the steps, twelve paces beyond the doors that led to Jasmine’s chambers. A servant waited outside the Queen’s bedroom.
---
Hooray! Two hours later, I’m through with Chapter One!
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Gah. Have to name this waterfall, since it’s a landmark. This makes my third landmark in this imaginary country. Dragon Claw Cliff was easy. Valley of Flowers was also easy and very unspecific. But the name I have right now is the Wynster Falls. This WILL NOT work as a permanent name.
**Final name: Peyton’s Tears**
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Gah. Have to name this waterfall, since it’s a landmark. This makes my third landmark in this imaginary country. Dragon Claw Cliff was easy. Valley of Flowers was also easy and very unspecific. But the name I have right now is the Wynster Falls. This WILL NOT work as a permanent name.
**Final name: Peyton’s Tears**
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[first try]
She had been focused on the questions surrounding her suitor, Henry. Does he love me? He hadn’t said it yet, but Jasmine felt his actions spoke his heart.
She had been focused on the questions surrounding her suitor, Henry. Does he love me? He hadn’t said it yet, but Jasmine felt his actions spoke his heart.
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*dances in circles* Just added in some advice from the mentor about
true love that will come into play later. YEAH for foreshadowing!
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[second try]
She had been focused on the questions surrounding her suitor, Henry. Does he love me? He hadn’t said so, but Jasmine felt his actions spoke his heart.
She planned for her husband to be just as in love with her as she was with him. The problem was that every suitor seemed to fall in love moments after meeting her. At least, they told her often enough. But Monique, who wanted Jasmine to marry almost as much as the Queen, had cautioned her about testing what men said against what they did. Men who spoke only of themselves and ignored every word she said, did not truly love her.
“I did not love Caleb the moment I laid eyes on him, Jasmine. He noticed me, and he wanted to care for me. But it took time. Love, true love, is like that. When you care about someone more than yourself, that is when you have found true love.”
---She had been focused on the questions surrounding her suitor, Henry. Does he love me? He hadn’t said so, but Jasmine felt his actions spoke his heart.
She planned for her husband to be just as in love with her as she was with him. The problem was that every suitor seemed to fall in love moments after meeting her. At least, they told her often enough. But Monique, who wanted Jasmine to marry almost as much as the Queen, had cautioned her about testing what men said against what they did. Men who spoke only of themselves and ignored every word she said, did not truly love her.
“I did not love Caleb the moment I laid eyes on him, Jasmine. He noticed me, and he wanted to care for me. But it took time. Love, true love, is like that. When you care about someone more than yourself, that is when you have found true love.”
Judging by the amount of green that keeps popping up in Jasmine’s wardrobe, I think that might be her favorite color. Huh. The things you learn while editing...
Yes, I should have known that already.
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Good thing I double-checked that. Trevor has black hair, not brown like I thought. Hmm. Should I make him have brown hair? That might work better.
My first drafts are really bad with lacking descriptions of not only scenery, but people.
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Rereading revisions from yesterday. Realized with Trevor’s change in hair color, he has the same color eyes and hair as Prince James. This won’t work. The prince’s description has now changed.
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Wow. Almost a page and a half of no notes other than a capitalization issue. Either that conversation is some really good writing, or I’m just blind right now. I’ll assume the first choice for now. ;)
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Changed “doctor” to “physician.” Only real significant change, aside from Caleb’s hair color. Apparently I like brown hair and blue eyes.
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My writer brain is going, “you need to describe this scene more.” The lazy part of me is going, “NOOOO!”
Hooray! That wasn’t hard!
Yeah! Punishment scene finished! Break time before I go back to the dungeons.
Emotional scenes are SO draining!
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Googling my question didn’t help. The answer to the medical question is an invention that has come about after my time period. *sigh* Guess I’ll leave what I have.
Oh joy. I looked over to the next page. I’ve marked a section with a single unhelpful note. “Fix.”
I think at this point in the book, I was tired. Chapters are shorter.
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So, how do you edit?
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